


Ghosts

by AnnieShields



Series: Elynna Stark [2]
Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst and Feels, Arranged Marriage, Bonding, Canon Divergence - Red Wedding, F/M, Family Bonding, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Grey Wind Likes Her, Just Married, Marriage, Married Couple, Married Fluff, Married Life, Original House Fossoway Character(s) - Freeform, Original House Tyrell Character(s) - Freeform, Robb Lives, Robb Needed A Pep-Talk, Robb Stark is King in the North, Robb is Busy, The King in The North, This Piece is a Mess, Winterfell, growing strong
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-16
Updated: 2018-07-16
Packaged: 2019-06-11 11:07:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,991
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15314172
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnnieShields/pseuds/AnnieShields
Summary: When the wedding is over and the first night's excitement passes, one is left with titles they can't fully accept and a new family they must grow closer to.Elynna fights herself in accepting how much Robb actually is away, has a tough time becoming the Lady of Winterfell, but ends up having a better grasp at being a Stark and a leader than The King in The North himself.





	Ghosts

**Author's Note:**

> This piece is smut-free, angsty, fluffy at times and all around a mess.

_Elyanna Stark._  
It was ringing so foreign in my ears whenever someone called me like this in the first few moons.  
_Lady Stark, My Queen, Queen Elynna._ None of these were my _real_ names, it was Robb's station, name and his family's that I didn't belong to, at least I felt like I didn't and transitioning wasn't as easy as my mother made it out to be in her letters. I needed time to get close to these people, who were more than mistrustful towards strangers and I had to admit, with good reason.  
It wasn't that they shied away or kept a distance from me, but I was still feeling like a guest in their house, despite the fact that after Robb, in his absence I was supposed to be in charge. And he was away a lot, sometimes only days, but more often several weeks or moons; the news of our union made Cersei fight with renewed fury on all her fronts.

Lady Catelyn was my greatest ally when he was away, I spent most of my time in her company as she had walked in my shoes and she wasn't shy about saying it; she was maybe the only person openly supportive of my presence in Winterfell.  
\- It's a completely different world, the North, I had to learn it quite early - she recalled one afternoon when we were finished with our daily chores, that mostly consisted of her teaching me about the affairs of the household learning about the castle, the people working in it, around it, the people who provided for us so I would be able to govern Winterfell on my own soon. - While Ned fought in the Rebellion I was home, in Riverrun, I haven't seen him for the first year, he met Robb for the first time when he was already five moons old, but I understood, I had to - she went on. - He, Ned, was very much like Robb is now; in matters of his duties he was always quite wayward, honorable, honest and just and in private very much timid, slow to open up, I see you struggle with him - she remarked, making me blush. - It's nothing to be ashamed of, Elynna, I know my son and he hasn't always been this way. I wish you would know how he can be.  
\- He is very kind to me - I tried to make an excuse for Robb, but even I was tired of hearing the words. - He is just very _busy_ with the war, that's all.  
The lady gave me a doubtful look.  
\- It's honorable how much you try to protect his reputation, but as I said, I am his mother, I know him like the palm of my hands - she smiled at me. I didn't know how to answer that.

\- What was he like? - I mustered the courage to finally ask.  
\- Robb? - her face lit up as she put down her handiwork to her lap. Her smile faded somewhat as she started to speak. - He always knew Winterfell would be his and it was his since the moment he could walk and talk. He was charming and sociable, the young prince we all adored, especially the girls as he grew - she gave me a telling look. - He loved the attention, he was thriving when faced with a challenge, when he could show off, be it recalling history or swinging a sword with some other lordling. He loved each and every one of his siblings, even Jon with such tenderness, such care - her voice trailed off as she stared into the flames of the fireplace we were sitting in front of. - He would teach Arya and Bran how to shoot an arrow, tell Rickon stories when he had trouble falling asleep. He always got in some kind of trouble with Theon and Jon and escorted Sansa to the Godswood to pray when she was too afraid to go alone. He still loves them, I know, all of them - her voice broke and I involuntarily reached over to take her hand. - But the war had broken him, he was just a boy when Ned... When Ned went away, he was soft and innocent - the lady couldn't keep her tears back anymore. - But he had to stay strong, through all of it, he had to stay strong for his family - she gathered herself, lifting her head up. - And he just doesn't know how to be soft anymore - she squeezed my hand, making me turn to her. - And that is why we are here for him, to remind him that there is a place where he can be... just Robb again. Not a Lord, not a King, but... just Robb, you understand me, Elynna? - she looked at me desperately.  
I nodded with conviction. She was sniffling for a while before I dared to open my mouth again.  
\- I'm sorry I made you cry, Lady Catelyn - I offered my humble apology. - But thank you for telling me.  
\- Thank you - she smiled finally. - I'm sorry I got so emotional, it's quite unlike me - she took a handkerchief from one of the boxes on her table and wiped away her tears.  
\- Maybe it's better if I leave you now - I suggested. - I promised Sansa I would go with her to the seamstress in Cerwyn this afternoon to get her a dress for her nameday.  
\- That's very kind of you - she gave me a final look before I excused myself and left.  
I felt genuinely guilty for stirring her memories up like this, but it gave me hope that the gentleness Robb had shown me was not a facade, but maybe a way for him to be himself without the baggage that came with his name and titles.

As I was crossing the corridors of the Great Keep I passed by the Throne Room as they were calling it now, where Robb and his council were having a meeting with the doors open. I stopped at the door for a minute watching them, trying to identify the lords sitting with him; Robb was showing something over the large map-table with a wolf-headed piece in his hand, explaining with a serious expression on his face and before I could turn my attention towards any of the other men, something touched my leg from behind. I turned to check, but a scared shriek escaped my mouth seeing the direwolf there, his yellow eyes watching me fall without a move.  
\- Grey Wind! - Robb called and the large animal trotted over to his side as I scrambled to my feet the lords watching me from afar.  
\- Everything alright, my queen? - one of them asked as I blushed hard.  
\- I'm fine, he just showed up from nowhere, he scared me - I started to explain embarrassed, but thank the Seven, Robb took mercy on me and walked up to me, leaving the wolf and his men behind.  
\- You have no reason to be scared of him, Elynna, he is just... - he tried to find the best expression. - still trying to figure out if he can trust you - he smiled at me, almost amused. I furrowed my brows.  
\- Maybe I don't know either if _I_ can trust him - I pointed towards the beast with my chin. Robb chuckled.  
\- If you trust me, you can trust Grey Wind, he would never hurt you - he smoothed his hand over my right arm. - Do you trust me?  
\- I do, but...  
\- No buts, my queen - he smiled cutting me off and when I stayed silent he leaned in and gave me a quick kiss on the lips, making me want more. - Now, go - he whispered. - Sansa was already looking for you.

The afternoon flew by at seamstress's shop in the village near Cerwyn Castle on the King's Road as we were feeling different materials and browsed through pearls and stones, choosing patterns and trying on dresses with Sansa. My older sister-in-law was pleasant company, chatting away all the while, well-informed in questions of fashion and dressmaking but just as hard to read as her siblings.  
\- Did you order two dresses after all? - she asked politely as we were riding home in the greying evening.  
\- Yes - I said glancing at her. - I wanted a new dress for Robb's nameday too, one he would like to see on me.  
She gave me a telling look.  
\- Is that why you asked so much about what ladies in the North fancy to wear?  
I did ask many questions, just as I watched the few ladies' dresses who visited us recently. They wore clothes that were simple in their design and coloring, but intricately decorated; embroidery being the key of an expensive dress, while in the Reach, we appreciated a clever cut, flowy fabric or a bi-color hem much better. My dresses even here were still mostly dark green with yellow or gold accents which didn't fit my station nor my new house; I had a few blue and teal pieces as well as some blacks and greys courtesies of Lady Catelyn, who proved to had given me the most useful presents for my wedding.  
\- Why else? He wants... - I trailed off, rethinking. - I am a Stark now, Queen in the North, I would like to dress accordingly.  
\- I was thinking that you may have ordered the second dress because you were... - she motioned over her flat stomach.  
I blushed bright red, turning away my gaze, making Sansa shift uncomfortably in her saddle.  
\- I'm sorry, I thought...  
\- It's alright, Sansa - I assured her, trying not to sound hurt. - I'm not with child. Not yet at least.  
\- But that means that you are trying, right? - she asked excitedly, before retreating quickly again. - I'm sorry, it's none of my business - she apologized, acting a bit strangely. - I just... I know how good of a father he will be - she smiled at me carefully. - Maybe once he has children of his own he would be more careful, stay home, let his commanders handle the war... - she speculated.  
I wasn't sure I should say what I think, but I decided to be honest with her.  
\- I don't know, Sansa, I am not sure if that would ever happen - I turned my gaze towards the dark walls of Winterfell in the distance, listening to our guards talking quietly behind us. - I feel like he wouldn't let anyone else fight his war, no matter what happens, he can only lead if he is out there.  
\- And you would let him do that? - she asks, her voice sounding a bit upset.  
I looked over at her measuring my words.  
\- I am trying - I admit, sighing heavily. - I haven't known him for as long as you did Sansa, so tell me, how do you put a leash on a wolf? - I saw on her face that she was a bit taken aback by my metaphor. - I pray to the Gods that they would keep him by side, that he would stay home as you said, raising our children, but I do not intend to demand him to stay put. I couldn't tame him, he is so willful, I have to let him run free, and hope that he will return to me on his own.  
Sansa watches me intently as I speak, her brows slightly furrowed in confusion.  
\- But aren't you worried about him when he is out there?  
\- Of course, I am worried - I sigh, a smile of desperation crossing my lips. - I... We had been married only a few moons and we spent most of them apart, I can't find my place without him here, but he is so busy, I don't want to... bother him with my... I don't want to distract him from his duties, so I just walk around like a _ghost_ without purpose.  
\- You are not a ghost, Elynna - she said almost rebuking me. -, and how could you not have a purpose? You are Queen, soon a mother to my nephews and nieces, part of the family, part of the pack that will survive any winter - she says with conviction and grace. Her words conjure a sense of solace in me.

\- Do you mean that? - I asked hesitantly after a few minutes of silence only broken by the creaking of our saddles.  
\- I do - she said, then paused, looking at me. - Your cousin Margaery... I knew her, she was kind to me, just like your grandmother. Without their help, I wouldn't be here today, Elynna, so even if you were not my sister-in-law, the least I could do to repay their kindness is to be by your side and help you in return.  
I turned to her to watch her face before I answered.  
\- That means a lot to me, Sansa.

By the time we arrived back at the keep the night had fallen and the family was already sitting at dinner when we joined them. Sansa sat next to her mother and I took my place on Robb's side at the head of the wast table.  
\- How was your afternoon? - Robb asked casually as I sat down beside him looking over the plates in front of us.  
\- Quite enjoyable - I smiled absentmindedly picking a piece of fawn off a platter. - Yours?  
\- Strategic meetings mostly - he shrugged, his forearm touching mine as he reached for his ale. - It seems our western front is failing, the Lannisters are pushing the lines more and more to the north so I may have to leave again and investigate the happenings myself.  
The meat in my mouth turned dry as sawdust.  
\- _When_? - I asked quietly, trying not show any emotion. He just returned a week and a half ago from his last "investigation".  
\- I can't wait long, I have to leave in a week or the damage may be irreversible - he sighed taking a long gulp of his drink, his Adam's apple bobbing as I turned to him.  
\- How long? - I tried to swallow my bite but only managed with great difficulty. I found Sansa watching my reaction keenly. I was sure she saw right through my facade.  
\- I can't tell yet, could be a moon or more - Robb finally turned his gaze to me, calm, like announcing this was nothing new.  
\- I see - I put down my fork and knife, despite the fact that I barely touched my meal; I felt sick like someone kicked me in the guts. " _This is normal, this is his job, he is King, I just told Sansa how well I can handle this, how I can't keep him on a leash, this is fine_ " I tried to convince myself as I took a sip of water.  
\- Wouldn't it be better if Jon went in your place, Robb? - Sansa asked abruptly. Her eyes searched mine, but I concentrated on my plate, trying not to get light-headed.  
\- Jon? - Lady Catelyn asked surprised. - Why would he send Jon?  
\- Jon is going to Dragonstone the day after tomorrow - my husband answered forcefully calm. - to deal with the Targaryen Queen from Essos and bring back dragonglass.  
\- Dragonglass? - Sansa scoffed.  
\- It is said that it kills White Walkers - Robb's voice was getting strained, he wasn't used to his decisions being questioned by his family.  
\- And Lannisters kill Starks, brother - the red-headed girl reminded him, getting visibly upset with the king.  
\- Not if I kill them first - he called frustrated. - That is why I have to go.  
Sansa stared at him angrily for a while, before she gave me a look urging me to take a stand. I shook my head at her slightly.  
\- That's enough - I called quietly. - If you have to go, then you have to go - I attempted to end the conversation before it went further, excusing myself from the table.  
\- You barely ate anything, Elynna - Robb called after me, suddenly worried about me.  
\- I'm not hungry - I called curtly, knowing I was unconvincing, but I didn't care. I was tired of acting strong and excusing his absence because of the war constantly, Sansa was right about that; I had to tell him what I wanted. If only it had been that easy.

\- Are you alright? - he entered our room with Grey Wind in his heel half an hour later when I was already in bed, reading one of the smaller books Flora had given me for our wedding.  
\- Yes - I lied. -, I just felt a little unwell - I added pulling the fur blanket further up my chest.  
\- Are you cold? - he asked stepping closer to the fireplace crackling quietly opposite to our bed.  
\- A little - I yielded, but quickly changed the subject. - What about _him_? - I pointed towards the wolf still standing in the door, following Robb's every move as he threw a few more logs on the fire.  
\- I thought he could sleep with us tonight - he started slowly seeing how I lifted an eyebrow. - I mean by the bed just so you get a bit more used to each other.  
I locked eyes with the wolf for a moment.  
\- Alright - I nodded vary. I was still afraid of the direwolves running around the castle, but I didn't want to get into an argument with him over this, not that night.  
I watched Robb undress and put down my book ready to blow out the candles for the night.  
\- Wait - he called touching my shoulder. - Look at me - he pulled me back to lay beside him. He ran his hand over my arm, taking hold of my hand as I lifted my gaze up to meet his. - Something is bothering you, I can tell.  
\- It's nothing - I dismissed him, knowing I was too upset to handle this right then, but he insisted.  
\- Tell me - he watched me, his eyes genuinely concerned and I knew he wouldn't let me go to sleep like this.  
I licked my lips, biting in my bottom lip.  
\- Don't do that - he kissed me gently, trying to help me relax without use. If anything his presence, his touch, his affection always made me feel nervous, clouded my judgment.  
\- _Don't go_ \- I whispered as he pulled away. His eyes widened in surprise. - I don't want you to go to the front.  
\- But, Elynna... - he started gently. - I have to, I have to show them who they are fighting for.  
\- And I need my husband by my side, Robb - my voice came out a little more demanding than I intended. - I am no Queen without you.  
\- Of course, you are - he cups my cheeks, sighing in disbelief.  
\- A name is nothing when it's given and not earned - I spat frustrated, trying to fight back tears.  
\- Quite the other way around, El, I gave you that crown because I trust you, I trust you to rule in my place when I am gone, speak my words and take care of my people, of Winterfell.  
\- And what if I can't? - I raised my voice, making Grey Wind peer up beside us, sensing how upset we were getting. - I'm not you Robb, I'm not a _Stark_ \- he gave me a warning look. -, not by blood, I am a stranger to these people, they have no respect for me.  
\- Not yet, but if I keep holding your hand, they never will, is that better? Is it better to live in my shadow? I want a partner, not a _ghost_ , Elynna, I just... - he takes a deep breath trying to calm himself. - I need you to have my back here, I need to know that Winterfell is in good hands, your hands - he pulled them to his chest, kissing the back of each, getting emotional too. - I need to know that if I... if I...  
\- Don't say it, Robb, please, don't say it - I beg for him tasting the salty tears running down my face reach my lips as I tremble in his grip.  
\- _If I die_ \- he said the words with intent, forcefully, cruelly, pausing just for a second before he went on. - If I die, I have to know that you will stay behind and take care of my family, our family. Will you promise me to do your best? - he asks, his voice tender.  
\- Will you promise not to die in this war of yours? - I asked back, my voice thick with accusation.  
\- I will try my best, will you? - he looked me in the eyes calmly, seriously.  
I stayed silent, it was just too much pressure, I never wanted this, I never wanted to be queen, I only ever wanted a husband who treated me right and with whom I could have raised children of our own until I am old and grey. And now here I was, far from my family, in a foreign land that I was supposed to rule with a new family, a new home to take care of. I didn't know if I was capable of doing all this at once, maybe if he gave me time, spent more time with me, showed me how, I could do what he asked, but the war... There was no time for such luxuries for a King, he was right about that.  
\- I just... worry so much when you are away, how can you be so fearless?  
He chuckled tracing his finger down my cheek wiping away the trail of my tears.  
\- _Fearless_? - he scoffed, his smile wide, but somehow sad. - I am not fearless, Elynna, I am scared, so scared - he whispered putting his forehead against mine, closing his eyes. - But when you are scared all the time, you learn to live with it, like a lump near your heart that you feel with every beat or a loss of a finger. You know it's still there or that it's not there anymore, but you just ignore it and go ahead doing what you have to. And I will not rest until I avenge my father and kill that Lannister whore - he almost hissed, making Grey Wind growl.  
I sat up, the yellow eyes watching us attentively, the snarl from just a moment ago gone as he yawned, showing me all of his sharp teeth.  
\- What would you say if I left him behind to take care of you, keep you company at night while I'm gone? - Robb asked sitting up next to me, kissing my shoulder softly.  
\- The wolf? - I asked surprised.  
\- Grey Wind, yes - he corrected me. - So you could learn to trust each other?  
\- Don't you need him to protect you out there? - I asked confused, looking from the beast to his master and back.  
\- I'm a man grown, I can handle myself, but maybe his presence would ease the absence of mine.  
\- I'm not sure if that's a good idea, Robb, you never go anywhere without him.  
\- I leave my heart here every time I go, you think I can't survive without him? - he smiled stroking my arm reassuringly. I had no doubt Grey Wind understood every word we exchanged, his eyes watching me with just as many doubts as I did him, but we both knew all too well, that what Robb wants, we must do.  
\- Come now, let us sleep, that was enough to think about until the morning - he pulled me down under the blankets blowing out the candles. I held on to his arm as he curled it over my waist, holding me close to his chest, letting me fall asleep feeling safe and sound.

\-------

In a week's time, Robb rode out just like he had planned under the grey banners of our house, to return only much later that he anticipated. I still wasn't happy to see him go, but we had talked about it almost every night that week; how he cannot allow himself to stay with us all the time.  
He also told me about his plan to retreat and concentrate on ruling once he had secured the borders of the Riverlands. He even took me down to his map-table one night and showed me where he was going, which borders he had to still establish and how he plans on extending his protection to my home until the Targaryen Queen called Daenerys would sit on the throne. He said he had exchanged letters with my Grandmother about this, who is willing to bend the knee and side with the young queen to restore peace on our lands.  
\- So all of this will be ours once we fight off those bastards; the Trident, the Riverlands and the North, all the birthright of our children - he smooths his hand over the rugged paper like he was already seeing it all before his eyes.  
\- And what about the White Walkers? - I had to ask. - Jon is so concerned about the Wall, do you think he will succeed getting the dragonglass?  
\- I have faith in Jon - he replied reassuringly. - , though he wasn't exactly optimistic in his last letter. The queen wants all of us westerosi houses on our knees, but that will never happen.  
\- _The North never Kneels_ , right? - I repeated the words I heard some Lords say around the court, peering up at him.  
\- Right, my Queen - he smiled over at me, the candlelight catching his face in an angle that made half of it look red, the other blue. - You are learning.  
\- Just hearing this and that - I averted my gaze humbly, as he reached over to smooth a strand of hair out of my face.  
\- Thank you for... being here - he said softly. - I'm sorry to put so much on your shoulders, to be gone so long at a time, but all this... it's for us, our people and while Jon is away, you are the head of the family, the one who has my word around here. You have to learn to deal with it.  
\- I'll learn - I promised, taking his hand. - I'll learn all of it, I just need time, just like you, to make all that - I motioned over the map. - a reality and I understand now, I try to understand and not feel abandoned by your absence.  
\- Grey Wind will be here to remind you of that - he nodded his head towards the pair of yellow eyes glowing in the dark of the hall watching us as he kissed me softly.

 

So Robb rode out and left me in Winterfell, determined to make good of my word and try my best to take charge of the castle. I tried to tell myself that this place was no different than New Barrel, it's a castle, a bigger, stronger castle, but a place to run attentively all the same.  
With Lady Catelyn's help, I was starting to get hold of things and taking up more and more of the duties of the _Lady of Winterfell_ , a title that I started to like much better than all my others. I was not yet a queen or even a Stark, but I was feeling more and more at home in Winterfell and a part of my new family. Sansa confided in me and Lady Catelyn continued to support me, while Jon started to write to me too about his progress in Dragonstone. Arya and I had not much in common, but even her presence started to feel more natural as our talks got less and less uncomfortable. She told me about the places she visited when she was trying to get home, earning my respect with every word.

To my biggest surprise, Grey Wind's presence really did help me to stay more confident, his eyes resting attentively at me as I wrote my letters, completed my accounts, following me around to the library tower as I exchanged books about the castle's history, when I visited the armory or the Glass Gardens, which was my favourite place in the whole keep, reminding me of home.  
In a few weeks, I let him sleep beside me on the bed, running my hand over his fur as I was falling asleep, thinking about Robb. He licked up my tears, making me chuckle when I felt alone and hopeless, reminding me to his master's words and escorted me to the Godswood when I went to pray.

It was strange to pray to a tree, but praying to my gods felt... _unnatural_ in the North, I didn't feel their presence when I talked to them in the small sept in the castle, where I went with Lady Catelyn every day. When I knelt in front of the Heart Tree on nights I couldn't fall asleep, I could feel Robb's warm touch on my had, his thumb brushing over mine, the wind whispering around me, Grey Wind's head in my lap keeping me warm and I just knew that _someone_ was listening, that someone heard my words, my prayer.

Two months went by until Robb finally came home. He didn't send any word of his return, his men just showed up in Winterfell one morning telling me that they arrived at dawn and the King was in the crypts eversince.  
\- Grey Wind - I waved the wolf to my side after his usual morning run and he joined me obediently as I made my way towards the vault under the castle. I only visited the resting place of the Starks of Winterfell once before, when Arya was showing me her father's statue as well as her aunt's and uncle's, all torn from the world too soon by the hands of their… _our_ enemies.  
I found Robb sitting in front of Lord Eddard's figure, with his back to another I didn't know. He was talking, his voice steady, strained, he sounded angry, but he went silent when he noticed us approaching. He stood, slowly and with some difficulty; he must have been sitting there for a while.  
\- What are you doing here, you will catch a cold - he questioned gruffly as I stopped only a few feet from him. Grey Wind drifted closer, dipping his head under Robb's hand asking for a greeting and he scratched the wolf's ear keeping his eyes on me. It was too dark to tell, but it seemed like he was crying, his defensiveness only strengthening my suspicion.  
\- Your men... they told me you came right here at dawn, I wanted to see you - I said simply. I wanted to hug him, to kiss him, but his behavior made me vary.  
He didn't answer, he just watched me. I was still in my night clothes under my cloak I draped over my shoulders in a rush, my feet in ankle boots without any stockings. I didn't feel the cold, but it was maybe because I had no other concern when I came down, just to see him.  
\- What are you doing here? - I repeated his question gently, stepping closer as Grey Wind came back to my side. I pet his head absentmindedly as I stopped in an arm-length from Robb, expecting an answer.  
\- Nothing.  
\- Were you talking to your father? - I ignored his dismissive reply, determined to get him to warm up to me.  
\- Yes - he answered curtly, averting his gaze.  
\- Your mother tells me that you are just like him - I glanced at the grey figure, making Robb face me again.  
\- I wish I was - he said bitterly.  
\- Honor, justice, honesty, these things are just as important to you as they must have been to him - I recalled Lady Catelyn's words. -, you are stubborn as well, quite set in your ways, relentless, unbending - I added my own opinion. - Aren't you?  
\- I'm not half the man my father was - he shook his head, his voice going weak.  
\- You are not half his age either, Robb.  
\- I soon will be the same age he was when he fought in The Rebellion.  
\- Yet you’ve been fighting _your own_ for years now - I went on and that shut him up. - What happened, Robb?  
\- What do you mean what happened?  
\- What happened to you, why are you like this? When you went away you were telling me about how our children will rule half of Westeros and now you act like… like something is _wrong_. What is wrong, Robb? - I demanded an answer, afraid he might be holding back something.  
- _I miss him_ \- he finally blurted out, his hand balled into a fist. - Every time I am out there, I just keep thinking about what he would do, what he would say, would he be proud of me? - I watched him silently, not sure what to say just yet. - Or would he think that I am foolish to lead my men into a war that seems to have no end, only causing more and more losses we cannot afford? Winter is coming and I still couldn’t chop off that whore’s head along with the Kingslayer and all their minions; we are still wasting food and resources at the frontlines instead of preparing for the long cold night that looms over us, threatening to destroy us all.  
\- Have Jon sent you some news about the Wall, is that why you are upset? - I demand an honest answer, but he had sunk too far into self-doubt to answer me. - Robb, look at me, I have to know if there is something wrong!  
\- _Everything_ is wrong - he kicked a small rock to the side, frustrated, lost and I couldn’t help but finally physically interject. I grabbed his arm, trying to get his attention, the cold of his arm-piece burning my hand.  
\- Look at me, Robb Stark - I pushed him a little and he lifted his chin in defiance. - This war is far from over, but you endure, _we_ endure, that is what we do - I said with more conviction even I expected from myself. - Highgarden sends us the food we need and while I am still here, they will keep sending it; the rest we can provide, the North is more than willing to fight for their freedom to the last of their strength because this is what we do here: _survive_. How long do you think Cersei will last when she is starving in the Red Keep covered in snow without a coin left to her name? How long will they endure? - I shake him again. - You want to know what your _father_ would do? He would not rest while there is a mad murderer on the Iron Throne who took his father, his brother, his wife’s uncle and cousins and who knows how many more lives? He would not cover away asking _ghosts_ to solve his problems, he would lead the living by example, Robb - He stays silent, lips pressed into a hard line under his trimmed beard, eyes watching the feet of the man he adored. - You know how I survived the last two months, how I struggled in your absence? - I asked him, still trying to hit an angle that would finally knock some sense to him. - I kept asking myself what would _Robb_ do? - His eyes flickered on my face, but he didn’t talk yet. - What would Robb say if he was here? Would Robb be proud of me? I told myself that I have to stay strong for my husband, I have to stay strong for him so he could go out there and kill them all! - I raised my voice slightly, my words echoing in the dark chamber of the dead. - Kill them all and return to me, rule by my side… - I would have gone on, but he cut me off with a kiss, his hands grabbing at my arms as he pulled me closer, his lips drinking me in like he couldn’t get enough of me, leaving me breathless and confused when we parted.

\- I am proud, Elynna Stark - he cupped my cheek with his cold right hand giving me a small peck on the lips, before his fingers slipped further back, into my light brown locks, making me shiver and close my eyes as he kissed my forehead gently. - I am proud.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading, let me know if you liked it: kudos and comments keep me going! :)


End file.
